Most of the time we went to dinner and a movie, but sometimes we’d do something more adventurous like exploring new places, check out cool bars, and restaurants.
I loved our date nights. They were fun and they helped us connect.
We’d laugh, hold hands, and he’d open the car door for me.
We’d talk, and have actual conversations without being interrupted by kids.
I’d drink wine that’s not from a box and eat a hot meal that I didn’t have to share with anyone.
Date nights rocked!
I guess when you get out of the habit of doing something, you forget how great it can be.
So, we brought dating back to our marriage.
Now, obviously, some things would change. Barry wouldn’t necessarily be coming to pick me up from my parents place or dropping me off at home in the evenings. But there would still be flowers, surprises, and intentional time spent together with just the two of us. Honestly, dating each other when you’re married is the best: there aren’t the awkward what ifs or trying to impress someone- you’re already committed till death do you part. And after a little more than fifteen years of marriage, dating forever is still our intention.
Here are some reasons why my husband and I are still dating:
We consider our marriage to be one worth fighting for and investing in.
We believe that a marriage we are both invested in and fighting for is more likely to last. We recognize that there will be trials and even attacks on our marriage in a variety of areas, but we know that at the end of the day, we are both committed to God and to each other, and we will do whatever it takes to keep it together.
{Our Wedding day}
We want our marriage to be strong for our kids.
We both agree that our marriage needs to come before the kids, or else it won’t be strong enough for them to see Christ through us. We know that it won’t be long before our kids will be grown and on their own, and we still want to recognize and know each other. We love them deeply, but we don’t plan to let them become our first and only priority.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
We recognize that we need time alone without distractions.
Oh boy, life with four kids can be crazy. There are so many good things to devote our time to, including our children, jobs, our church, and friends. But Barry and I both recognize that there are times in which we really need some alone time together. And thus- date nights! If we go too long without some alone time, we both feel it. So we try to regularly “schedule” time together including sneaking off for a weekend just the two of us to try something new.
We are choosing to love each other on a daily basis.
If you’re married, you know there are days when it feels like the butterflies and warm fuzzies aren’t there. The laundry is piled on the bedroom floor, dinner is ruined and everything that comes out of your mouth isn’t taken the way you were intending it to be received. But, regardless of all of that, you can choose to love each other. And it is a choice, every single day.
We’re committed to keeping our love alive.
We recognize that the best kinds of love are those that come with true commitment, no matter what. If we are truly striving to love and live like Christ, then we will show grace to each other daily, and choose to always make the decision that is best for our relationship, and for our love. A fire can’t die if it is continually fed. We’re still changing.
We want to continue to get to know each other as we age and grow together. We don’t want to wake up one morning, look at each other, and wonder who that person beside us is.
{When we first started dating..seriously we look like kids ourselves!}
We genuinely love spending time together. When you’re married to your best friend, who wouldn’t want to spend time together? It’s a no brainer. It’s just that much sweeter when you’re also in love. I can’t imagine life without my sweet hubby, and we have the absolute best time on our date nights, even if they aren’t fancy, expensive, or even planned.
{ A weekend away just the two of us Kayaking at Lake Minnewanka }
Now, you may be thinking: those all sound like great reasons to date my spouse. But how do I make it happen? You’re in luck. Here are some of our favourite ways to keep dating each other:
Here are 10 fresh new date night ideas:
1. Glow in the dark mini– Golf. A glow-in-the-dark course, blow-up dolls, creepy clowns, and moving pieces added in for good measure—what’s not to like? If you like getting spooked and appreciate the occasional fright, this is the place for you!
2. Get up early and have a weekend brunch somewhere new… I have wanted to check out Dutch delicious Bake Shop.
3. Add a little adventure! Take part in a drop-in climbing adventure at one of the local rock climbing facilities or like we did, rent a kayak and head to the mountains!
4. Visit the gun range. I have only shot a handgun, but I would love to try something new! There are a couple of places here in the city that are perfect for a newbie like me.
5. Break out your inner Picasso! Arrange to attend a Paint nite experience where their artists guide you, step by step, on transforming your blank canvas into a mosaics masterpiece! Ok, maybe not a masterpiece but a darn good painting that you’ll be proud to hang above your mantlepiece! These events are typically two hours long and involve lots of drinking, painting, laughter, and a jolly good time!
6. “9 and dine” Most local golf courses offer 9 holes of golf, practice at the driving range, use of a power cart, and coupon for dinner for 1/2 the price of a regular round of golf. FOUR!!
7. Stargazing is hands down the cheapest, easiest way to spend the evening. Visit amazing space followto find out what to look for any night the week Or print off a free star mapfollow. Don’t forget a blanket, snacks, and some binoculars if you have them.
8. Grab a cup of your favourite coffee to go and explore the river valley.
9. Try something new together… before summer ended we rented a kayak and headed to the mountains and kayaked on a beautiful mountain lake.
10. Re-create your “first date”.
Now, it’s your turn. Find what works best for you! Your marriage is something worth fighting for. Always assume you have each other’s best interests at heart, and show each other grace again and again, over and over. Dating your spouse is one of the very best ways to ensure that you grow together, and not apart.
It’s time…
When’s the last time you dated your husband?
Good counsel Heather. I’ve heard the same idea communicated that a wife should remain her husband’s “girlfriend.”
There’s some scriptural support behind all this too. Wives are commanded to have a friendship love for their husbands. Unlike the “agape” love husbands should have for wives in Ephesians 5, Titus 2 uses the word “phileo” for wives.
Such great advice! We also make sure to have date nights. It’s so good to reconnect and have time to just the two of you. It keeps our marriage strong.
I so love this! Dating keeps the spark alive and always reminds you of when you first fell in love.
This is sweet, yet so important for any marriage! My husband and I’ve been married for almost 5 years and we still try to go on dates once a week.
I try to date my husband, but honestly, it is infrequent that we get much time alone. We make sure to hang out together whenever possible and secure a sitter 3 evenings a year for dinner or an evening at the Theather without the kids.
It is so important in a marriage to keep things going. it can get crazy when you have kids and jobs and a house to clean so it is important to make sure you arent forgetting the marriage part of life!
I think it’s really important to date. It keeps the relationship from going stagnant when you go do things as a couple… no other friends, no kids, and no family… just the two of you. 🙂
These are excellent date ideas that don’t cost a ton of money. I know that dating my husband is super important, last week showed me that. I was able to spend some alone time with my husband without the distractions of the kids being home. I enjoyed it and it did feel great. We had gotten out of the habit and it is one that I don’t want to get out of the habit of doing again.
This is a great post! It’s always important to keep the magic alive, and what better way than to continue to date well into marriage.
I am still dating my husband and we grab every opportunity that we can get to have quality time together. We had a lunch date last week and we were just talking about going on a date again today. 🙂
I love date nights with my husband even if it is just watching a movie at home. We have a lot of fun together. I love that old pic of the two of you, we have one like that too where my daughter says you looked like little kids. lol
I absolutely love this article because it is so important to keep the spark and romance alive, no matter how long you have been together, how many kids you have, etc. Now I’m off to plan a fun date night with my hubby!
Date nights are still so important for your marriage to keep growing. I’m a strong believer of it. Great post!
Date nights are very important even after you are married. I did not do this enough when my kids were younger but in the past year and a half we have made more of an effort. My daughter even now encourages us to go because she sees how it helps us and doesn’t complain about being left out.
This! This right here is the one of the keys to a happy marriage! Just because we become parents and our lives become filled with responsibility doesn’t mean we stop being partners, lovers, and friends.
Dating is so very crucial to a marriage and its something that my husband and I try to maintain. Sometimes when they’re kids involved marriages often take the back seat when it should be front and center.
I love reading posts like these because I feel the same! My husband and I are married for 5 years but it still feels like we teenagers dating! I love it.
Such a cute post! I love the title as well, perfectly fitting!
My wife and I recently started “meeting” each other for lunch (we both work from home) and it’s amazing what a difference it has made.
What a great thing, to focus time and energy on your marriage. That sets such a good example for your kids!
This is a nice post for couples. I will share this post with my friends. I still date my boyfriend!
The last time I went on a date with my husband was in June. Our next date is in November. I wish we could do it more, but I haven’t found someone I trust to watch my toddlers so we just do it when family visits during special occasions. I think it’s great you still date your husband.
Wow, I am so glad that you still date. Me and hubby always make sure that we date at least once a week!
I have experienced firsthand how easy it is to let this slip, especially with young kids in the picture. Husband and wife really do need that special time together, and to keep making that effort! <3 So so so important.
I think it is a great idea to date your Husband. It is important to keep the romance alive.
Those are some great date night ideas. I need to have a date night with my husband. I honestly can’t remember the last time we had one.
These are great date night ideas. It really is so important to any relationship to have that alone time with your partner especially when you have children together. Dating is what got us to fall in love with our other half too. Thanks for sharing your experience and the date night ideas.
Nice looking family. Dating is a healthy and necessary part of any relationships. – Yolonda
I’ve been married for 11.5 years. I agree that the secret to a great marriage is spending time with one another! its about time that DH and I had another date night! You have some great ideas here for new exciting nights out!
Couples should never stop dating. That is something every marriage and relationship counselor will tell you first. It is good to hear that their are couples out there who take that advice.
My husband and I love our date nights. We haven’t gotten them as often as we’d like, but I’ll take what I can get! We love any alone time we can get to connect without the kids.
I love all your reasons! I think it’s so important to keep that connection with your spouse because once your children leave the house, it’ll just be the two of you!
It’s so important to keep that spark in the marriage. It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of letting parenthood, time, or both sap the romance. It can be a real bummer, but it doesn’t have to be.
#2 and #10 sound totally doable to me right now. In fact, I told my husband just the other day that I wanted to go out for a brunch date. We’ve got 3 littles under 5 years old, so dates are fewer and further between, though we do try to go out at least once each month. Thanks for the ideas!
Your post totally hit home! This is so important yet my husband and I never make time for just the two of us. I do find when we have a date night things seem to get better again. I am so taking your tips!
Such great reasons and so important to keep these going on. If you don’t like your husband why are you with him?? If you don’t want to date why be there. Kids can come in front of your marriage and you can forget why you married him in the first place. We do at least one getaway a year now.
You are so right! Date nights are so valued in our marriage. We try to commit to a date night at least once a month.
We’ve been married almost 12 years and I can’t stress how important this is. I wish we went on more dates and made it a priority. We’re getting better at doing the date nights at home.
Love these ideas and reasons why you are still dating your husband! My husband and I go out once a week and are so thankful for that time.
This is so important. My husband and I try to schedule at least one day night a month. More if we can squeeze them in. I like some of these ideas and can’t wait to try some of them.
My husband and I were just talking about this- we need to do this way more often! I’m going to make it part of my new school year routine! Just the hubby and I! These are great ideas too! Thanks!
We just celebrated our 35th anniversary, and I can tell you it’s so important to keep going on dates! Otherwise you’re so right and you just end up sitting there, staring at each other after the kids move out!
How sweet is this! I love that y’all still date and I think it’s so important to do! Beautiful family, btw!
My partner and I made the mistake of not dating when our daughter was young. When she grew up and went to college, we sat in the same room and stared at each other! Now, 6 years later, we make sure we date twice a month. We live in an area where we can do a lot of outdoors things. It is great to reconnect.
These are all great ideas. We usually go bowling or to the movies on date nights. We try to go at least 3 times a month.
It IS so important to date our husbands. The time you are taking to do this speaks volumes to your kids. Way to go! It’s tough to get done but so worth it.
The How-to Guru
Some Titus women in my life, insisted that my husband and I date weekly. We haven’t go to that frequency but we do once a month and it’s great to connect. We always enjoy the prioritized time together!
Yes! dating is so very important it reminds us of why we fell in love in the first place. Cuz we had fun. We have a date night jar with ideas and a list of things we want to do. We just add to each as time goes on.
I think the key word in this post is INTENTIONAL. When my husband is intentional about time with me, it shows his love. Love isn’t a feeling; it is actions. I love this post! Great advice for a marriage.
Heather,
I really appreciated your part about having a great marriage for your children. I think if husbands and wives thought more often about the affect on their kids, they’d be even more motivated to have a relationship that honours the Lord and reflects Christ’s relationship with the church.