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The time the oldest moved out of the house…

01/07/16 | live

moved “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain.”  -Ecclesiastes 3:1-5

Ever since she graduated from high school a few years back  I knew deep down that this day was coming.  But when the moment comes it’s not always as expected.  Where we live my oldest didn’t need to “go away for school” so, the thought of her moving out never really crossed my mind. Why would it?  So when She started talking about “possibly” moving out this past Autumn it blind sided me.

I just couldn’t wrap my head around my oldest moving out.

  Her first opportunity came and went before she had a chance to really think things over and as horrible as this is to say out loud I was happier than a pig in dirt that it fell through. Actually no, I take that back. I don’t feel bad about that at all!  

Fast forward to the beginning of December and that same opportunity presented itself again.  

This time she jumped at the chance.

A part of me was so excited for her and the other part of me wanted to just sit on her until all this silliness went away.  And yes, I realize no 20 year old wants to live at home with mom and dad forever…but a small part of me kinda hoped she did.  

Making decisions is a big part of life and this was hers to make so,after her finals were written and Christmas was over she packed up her room, took her hedgehog and moved into a basement suite with two other girls 15 minutes away.  

This will forever be know in my world as “the time that my oldest moved out.” 

Not exactly what I had envisioned but life never seems to go the way we want it too does it?

I was so focused on her moving out that I forgot to see the bigger picture. Life is about  finding balance and enjoying the little things. It’s also about growing and changing while experiencing new things. I wish there was a “pause” button I could press but her life isn’t the only one changing.  Our life is changing too…and really this is a good learning opportunity for all of us. 

When all is said and done It’s the little things that mean the most…like time spent together as a family laughing & enjoying life together.
the one time the oldest moved out  

Comments | 47 comments

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Comments

  1. Coralie says

    January 19, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    I have four kids – all younger – oldest is only 11. So this is a ways off for me, but I understand what you mean. It is going to be so crazy and hard when she leaves and my kids start leaving home. The time spent together and the memories are so important!

    Reply
  2. Paula says

    January 14, 2016 at 6:56 am

    I only have one child, so it will be so weird not to have him home. Hang in there!

    Where was the picture taken? That same son of mine LOVES Cars and I don’t think that we saw that front of the radiator springs hotel in Disneyland 🙂

    Reply
  3. nicole says

    January 14, 2016 at 3:13 am

    I feel the same way. My daughter moved out , and this years she turns 22, yikes. Good luck.

    Reply
  4. Ida says

    January 14, 2016 at 2:26 am

    WOW! That’s a rough experience I am definitely not looking forward to. Stay strong and now you will have a different relationship, but honestly, I think it;s a better one.

    Reply
  5. Aubrey says

    January 13, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    Time just seems to keep passing by no matter what we do. I’m excited for your daughter, but can understand how that must be bittersweet for you.

    Reply
  6. Sarah says

    January 13, 2016 at 6:41 pm

    I can’t even imagine getting to this stage with my children. They’re still little but this definitely makes me want to make sure I’m cherishing my time with them even on the frustrating days. 🙂

    Reply
  7. Dogvills says

    January 13, 2016 at 6:40 pm

    I felt sad when my daughter moved out. It’s really important to spend time together when your kids are still with you.

    Reply
  8. krystle cook says

    January 13, 2016 at 5:35 pm

    It will be a sad day when my son moves out. But for now he says he’s going to live with us forever. LOL.

    Reply
  9. jill conyers says

    January 13, 2016 at 10:39 am

    My son graduated last year and moved out over the summer to college. It’s still so hard to believe.

    Reply
  10. Stacey says

    January 13, 2016 at 4:56 am

    It’s so bittersweet! We raise them to spread their wings and fly away – but so sad when they do. I love it when my older children are home for visits and miss the days when they all lived here. But I am so proud to see the careers and lives they are building!

    Reply
  11. Kelly B. says

    January 13, 2016 at 4:36 am

    I moved out of my parent’s house for college when I was 18 and I honestly thought they’d be a little glad to get some peace and quiet in the house again! But that’s how life is, we all have to leave at one point!

    Reply
  12. Tonya C says

    January 13, 2016 at 3:28 am

    Having the oldest kid moving out is not easy.. I don’t like the feeling of watching them go out the door, or packing their room, let alone even talking about it 🙁 But they have to leave the nest at some point.

    Reply
  13. LauraFunk says

    January 13, 2016 at 3:22 am

    She looks so young! I am not sure I am going to handle it well when my babies move out of my home. You have a great outlook

    Reply
  14. Debra says

    January 13, 2016 at 3:03 am

    Oh man, This is not a day in my life that I am looking forward to! It is going to be so hard!

    Reply
  15. tp keane says

    January 13, 2016 at 2:35 am

    I’m so sad for you. The day will come for me also and I hate the thought of it

    Reply
  16. Liz Mays says

    January 13, 2016 at 2:11 am

    It’s so tough to see them go. I think I called my daughter every day when she went to college.

    Reply
  17. TaMara says

    January 13, 2016 at 1:59 am

    I can only imagine the mixed emotions your’re feeling. It’s such an exciting and sad time.

    Reply
  18. tiaras and tantrums says

    January 13, 2016 at 1:43 am

    I can’t even begin to think about this day! My son keeps telling me (14) he can’t wait to leave. boo!

    Reply
  19. Anne says

    January 13, 2016 at 1:39 am

    It is a hard adjustment. My oldest moved away for college and now is back home and working. But she is saving up her money and planning to leave again soon, this time for good. It is bittersweet for sure!

    Reply
  20. Lois Alter Mark says

    January 12, 2016 at 11:35 pm

    I cried like a baby when my firstborn left for college. Now, both kids have been out of the house for years and I have to admit being an empty nester is pretty fun!

    Reply
  21. Molly says

    January 12, 2016 at 11:25 pm

    Aw! My older sister moved back home for a year after she graduated college and then moved to her own house a year ago and I know it was so hard for my parents, but you are right- it’s the little moments that mean the most! Cherish all the times when your family is all together because they mean so much more now!!

    Reply
  22. Kathryn says

    January 12, 2016 at 11:05 pm

    I know it was super tough on my mom. I moved from Arkansas to California. Now we only get to see each other once a year. It’s hard, but I couldn’t stay in AR.

    Reply
  23. Blythe A. says

    January 12, 2016 at 8:45 pm

    I remember when I left my parent’s house for college. I felt so grown-up, yet so terrified. I think it is a big deal on both sides, even if the kids don’t show it, like mom and dad.

    Reply
  24. Jessica Harlow says

    January 12, 2016 at 8:28 pm

    Our oldest (my stepson) just moved out about 4 months ago and it’s had it’s ups and downs. There are some benefits to reducing the craziness by one family member, but despite less laundry, more food in the house, it’s bittersweet not to have him under foot. lol

    Reply
  25. Athena says

    January 12, 2016 at 8:24 pm

    As our lives have been unpredictable and challenging – it was never a huge deal when the first three moved out of the house. My second to youngest may never move out – he is autistic and will always need supports. But when my youngest moves out – it will be unbearable. And now that our middle (of 5) has moved back in with our grandchildren – I have many sleepless nights. Although I knew it was temporary – they are still meme’s babies…

    Reply
  26. Sandi (@fearless_dining) says

    January 12, 2016 at 6:39 pm

    Mine are in high school and I dread the day they drive, let alone move out 🙂

    Reply
  27. Ana De- Jesus says

    January 12, 2016 at 4:45 pm

    Aw I suppose I have never looked at it from that perspective since I have no children but it is true that we must have an impact on the people we leave behind because we know that life or they will never be the same again. It is definitely food for thought x

    Reply
  28. Rebecca Bryant says

    January 12, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    First off i have to say you do not look old enough to have a grown child. that said I feel your pain. My son is already talking college and moving out and he is only 15 I can’t believe how quickly time goes. You really do have to savor every moment.

    Reply
  29. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says

    January 12, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    I will sad when my kids are gone someday, but I think part of me will be happy, too 😉

    Reply
  30. Hannah says

    January 12, 2016 at 2:47 am

    Sometimes its hard to adjust to these changes with your kids. I know my mom had a difficult time adjusting to me and my brother being out of school, going to college etc. Hang in there!

    Reply
  31. Dina says

    January 11, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    My son turned 19 today. That time is fast approaching! I’m so not ready for it either. Good job mama!!

    Reply
  32. Mommy Pehpot says

    January 11, 2016 at 2:30 pm

    If time will come that my first born will move out of my house, I’ll have mixed feelings too! But sadness will win! hahaha

    Reply
    • Heather says

      January 11, 2016 at 5:05 pm

      I will admit, the first day I went down in her room and sat on her bed and bawled my eyes out but it’s getting much easier now.

      Reply
  33. Rebecca Swenor says

    January 11, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    It is so true that the best moments are the time spent with family. My sons are still at home but my oldest almost moved for a job 800 miles away. The job fell through and it was a bitter sweet feeling for me. It is exciting and sad when we see our kids go through the mile stones of life. Thanks for sharing your experience.

    Reply
  34. Stephanie of The TipToe Fairy says

    January 11, 2016 at 6:53 am

    Oh I know this day is coming or me in a couple years. My oldest is 16 and she can’t wait to go away to college. It’s going to hurt, but I want her to spread her wings.

    Reply
    • Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says

      January 12, 2016 at 1:41 pm

      My step son went off to college this year, but he comes home on breaks., so he is still around.

      Reply
  35. Jasmine Watts says

    January 11, 2016 at 5:29 am

    Yess!! Spending a good time with family is the best thing in the world!

    Reply
  36. Jasmine Watts says

    January 11, 2016 at 5:29 am

    Yess!! Spending a good time with family is the best thing in the world!

    Reply
  37. Mama to 5 BLessings says

    January 11, 2016 at 12:40 am

    You do not lI do not look old enough to have a daughter this age! I do not look forward to when my kids get oder and move out, makes me cry when I think about it. I can understand your feelings!

    Reply
  38. Jaime Nicole says

    January 11, 2016 at 12:22 am

    I am so not looking forward to the oldest moving out. I have a couple of years to wrap my head around the concept but it definitely makes me sad to think of her not being here! Have to make those memories now before she heads off to school.

    Reply
  39. Cat Davis | Mom by the Beach Blog says

    January 10, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    I feel awful saying this but I’m really looking forward to the day each of my kids move out. I’ve been a mom since I was 18 and as much as I love and cherish the time with my family, I’m really looking forward to the days when my husband and I will have almost unlimited time together.

    Reply
    • Heather says

      January 11, 2016 at 5:07 pm

      I totally understand! When my hubby and I got married we were already a “ready made family” so we never had that alone time as a newlyweds.

      Reply
  40. lisa @bitesforbabies says

    January 10, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    I remember the time I moved out of the house for the first time….I moved to France for a year and I was only 19. I ended up spending the next 6 years abroad! Now that I have children I can only imagine what my parents went through!

    Reply
  41. William Sweeney says

    January 10, 2016 at 5:40 am

    I am dreading the day our kids want to move out. Good luck to her and her new adventure, and I know you will get through it!

    Reply
  42. Heather says

    January 10, 2016 at 4:29 am

    Oh I’m sure that was hard, can’t imagine that day for me, don’t really want to, but I think what I’d be thinking was man did I teach him everything he needed to know… So many things would be running through my mind. I don’t think parents ever stop worrying.

    Reply
  43. dawn says

    January 10, 2016 at 4:17 am

    i have heard this before. its like parents are excited for the day but when it happens they are a little weirded out and sad. i love this post. thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  44. Pam says

    January 9, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    I remember when my oldest moved out. It was hard at first and took some time to get used to her being gone. You are so right; time spent together as a family is most important.

    Reply

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