Have you ever tried explaining friendship to a teenager? 

The other day my daughter and I were talking about her friends- the ones who make her laugh, the ones who frustrate here, and the ones who sometimes leave her feeling unsure about where she stands.  Teenage friendships can feel like everything all at once.

I could see in her face that she was trying to make sense of it all.

Teenage friendships can feel so intense.  Everything matters- who sits with who, who texts back, who’s included, who suddenly isn’t.  The highs are really high, and the hurts can feel really big. 

As we were talked, I found myself sharing something I wish I had understood much earlier in life: Friendships change, and that’s not always a bad thing. 

 Over time, Friendships change as we grow.

Not always because something went wrong.  Sometimes simply because life moves people into different season.

When we’re young, most friendships happen because we’re in the same place.  The same classroom. The same team. The same group of friends.

It feels like those friendships will last forever.

And sometimes they do.

When we’re young, it feels like the friendships we have will last forever.  But as life moves forward, we start realizing that people grow, paths change, and sometimes friendships shift with them. Not every friendship is meant to last forever- but every friendship can teach us something about who we are becoming. 

 Some of the people who stay closest to us are the ones who are walking through the same reason of life that we are.  The ones who understand what our days actually look like.  The ones who get it without needing a long explanation.

They understand the busy days, the tired moments, the juggling of responsibilities, the emotional ups and downs that come with real life. 

But I also told her something else.

Some of the most meaningful friendships come from people who are younger.

Those friends remind us to dream.  They bring new ideas and energy into our lives.  They help us see things from a perspective we may have forgotten.

And sometimes they come from from people who are older.

Friendships Look Different in Every Season of Life 

Those friendships are full of wisdom.  They’ve walked through seasons we haven’t yet experienced, and they can remind us that the hard moments don’t last forever.

Friendship doesn’t have to be limited to people who look exactly like us or live exactly the same life we do.  What matters most is being about to show up as your self.

Real friendship isn’t about pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about sitting across from someone and knowing you don’t have to perform.  You don’t have to impress them.  You don’t have to shrink yourself or stretch yourself to fit in.

 “The right friendships never ask you to shrink who you are.”

 You can just be you. And the right people will make space for that.

The older I get, the more I realize that authentic friendships feel different. There’s a comfort in them.  An ease. They celebrate your wins, even the small ones. They sit with you during the hard moments.

They grow with you.

Some friendships will stay for a season. Some will stay for a lifetime.

And both can be beautiful in their own way.

That’s the part I really wanted my daughter to understand. Friendship isn’t about how many people are around you. It’s about the ones who truly see you- and stay.  The right friendships won’t make you questions your worth- they remind you of it. 

And if there’s one thing I hope my daughter carries with her as she grows, it’s this: the right friendships will never require you to be someone you’re not.  The people meant to walk beside you in life will see you for who you truly are- your kindness, your quirks, your strength, your messy human moments- and they’ll stay.  Not because life is perfect, but because real friendship isn’t built on perfection. 

It’s built on authenticity. 

And maybe that’s the most important thing I wanted my daughter to know- the right people will always make room for who you truly are. 

Have your friendships changed as you’ve moved through different seasons of life?